Learning the Art of Gentle Marriage

Marriage is an adventure.

It is not a straightforward, direct journey from one point to another. It is not so much an institution as a way of living. Thus in marriage, as in life, there is no standing still; life moves forward all the time. And so does marriage.

As marriage is essentially a part of living, nobody can solve for you all the problems you will meet on the way. The one who humbly tries to help you can only indicate the right direction, point out some of the dangers, make practical suggestions and then leave you to it.

"Learning' Marriage

To a great extent you have to learn marriage as you go along. It is very important to recognize this at the start. If we could embark upon marriage fully aware of all its demands, the whole subject of marriage guidance would be much simpler than it is. But then marriage would cease to be an adventure. We would know from the outset precisely what to expect. We should need only to comply with rules drawn up in advance to be certain of getting along satisfactorily.

No people who marry, whether for love or other­wise, begin by knowing all they need to know about life or marriage. This is because there is so much to be learned in marriage which cannot possibly be learned outside it. True, we can learn some things by study or by closely observing other marriages. But in a prac­tical sense what matters most to us can be learned in only one way-in the school of our own day-to-day marriage experience.

Every marriage involves two persons; and no two human beings are absolutely identical; so no two mar­riages are alike. In every marriage there is a partnership of two persons of opposite sex; and the sexes are not alike. In addition to the obvious physi­cal differences there are emotional and mental dif­ferences which, in the main, are not so obvious. These reveal themselves in attitudes and actions, and are of the utmost importance. It is therefore hardly surpris­ing that the degree of adaptability of each partner to the other varies in different mar­riages.

The goal is a happy union lasting through life. Its attainment depends mainly upon the degree of ad­justment achieved by each of the partners. That is why marriage is really the art of human relationship at its best. It means learning by experience how to adapt yourself to your husband or wife so that there is real cooperation on every plane—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.